Apr 13, 2009

If Ignorance is Bliss, I'd Rather Be Miserable

This weekend, for the first time in this experience, Le and I were met with ignorance and indifference. I told someone very close to me, with my heart open and full of joy, only to be met with blind indifference and insincerity. It wasn't the words that were spoken, but the look of disgust and rejection in their face. I was devastated. Le, in his ever wonderful way, reminded me that God only hands us what we can handle and if through this entire process, if only one person in our lives had chosen a road away from us, then those were great odds. But I began to think that ignorance is just a lack of understanding and maybe I needed to explain ourselves a little better. Perhaps people were asking: Why Ethiopia? Why adoption? Why us?

In order to answer the first question, Ethiopia was put our hearts by our Heavenly Father. When Le and I first began praying about starting a family, adoption was always on the list. We knew that even if we had a child on our own, that adoption would be one way that we were going to grow our family. When the doctor called us into his office and said that we would be unable to have children naturally, of course, that hurt. It hurt very deeply. Those of you who are lucky enough to know my husband, know that he is gorgeous. I realize that I am partial, but those of you who don't know him, don't know that he has the deepest blue eyes and honey blond hair. He is tall and has a strength that only comes from the Lord. When I was young, my mom always said that I would know when I met the man I wanted to marry because I would want to have children who looked just like him. That was exactly how I felt about Le. Who wouldn't want to have a child that looked just like him?

When one of your options is closed, then you know that God is pointing you down a completely different path. Yes, we were sad, but we knew that there was another child that needed us and we needed them. As we sat in church one Sunday, I found John 14:18, which says, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." That became Le and I's motto. Whatever we were called to do, we were going to do it and what an amazing, eye opening experience this has been. To know that we have been called to serve a higher purpose and change not only our lives, but the life/lives of other individuals is such a blessing. I don't know why God chose us, but I wouldn't have it any other way, because I know at the end of this road are lives being changed and I know that Le and I are two of those lives.

For those of you who doubt God's will, not only for our lives, but for your own, don't be afraid. When you return from the road out of ignorance, we will be here, with our wonderful child/children ready to love you all over again.

1 comment:

Laura Ferry-Jimenez said...

beautifully put - brought tears to my eyes! God is good and He (I know!) has led me to your blog. Won't write too much but will try to send you an email.