Going Home

When I was a teenager, preparing to leave my parents home for college,
my dad  had a joke for me.
He use to say "you know Sis. They say you can never go home again."
I'd laugh.
And wonder if he was serious.
As the oldest of three, maybe they were ready for me to leave.
To be gone, to never return.
If I really could never load up my car and spend summers on their couch,
raiding their refrigerator and forgetting that there was life outside
the cocoon they had lovingly created.

 I'm sure they took it hard when I left down that long, winding road for college.
21 miles due north.
Despite the distance, I saw them at least once a week.
And talked to them at least four times.
Sometimes all in one day.
It took a solid 20 minutes from my dorm room parking lot
to their gravel drive way.

The summer between college and law school I moved home.
My dad changed his joke.
"Sis, they say you can't go home again."
"But I have no idea who 'they' are, so feel free to come home whenever you want."

I never did move home after that summer.
I think a part of me regrets it to this day.
I mean, who doesn't love your mom making breakfast and doing your laundry?
(I wonder if she'll move back in. :)

Law school meant studying and studying meant late nights at the library.
I kept an apartment on the west side of campus,
north in the City,
almost 40 miles from my parents' front porch.
Then The Hero appeared and well, I had a new home.
Wherever he laid his head was my address.

But I never forgot Dad's reminder.
That if I ever needed a place to rest, to relax, to be who I am,
that the front door is always open.
It's one of the first things I want my children to know about The Hero and I:
The front door is always open.
You can always go home.


When I left you lovely blog readers last, we had a dilemma in our adoption planning.

One blank to fill, so that there would be less blanks in our family pictures.

I fought it.

Hard.

With prayer and Italian heritage stubbornness,
I knew there was no way God was calling us back home.
The Hero and The Angel were adamant I was wrong.
The Dinosaur was unpersuasive.
Could we return to the land I loved again?
Wouldn't God place us some where else?
Why could this country, these people, that boy, those memories, why couldn't they be still.

Why couldn't they let me be still?
Why was I always called back there?

And then one day, it hit me.

Dad's words from so long ago.

Because this place, that boy, those memories, they were one thing to me:
HOME.

That continent that hangs on my neck,
that stirs in my heart.

That landscape where our ministry, our business, our family rooted and grew.

The treasures we'd already received from being there once before.

(Yes. The Dino is in a dress. The Hero continues to lament my failures

 to parent while he's at the fire station.)

The culture we've come to accept as part of our own.

Those faces LoPa Art fell in love with and advocate for through Children's HopeChest

(You can STILL sponsor a child at Hands For the Needy, but you better hurry only 20 of our 210 kiddos remain.)

That place with the hurt and the anguish.

And then there's that boy.

Would we ever be able to adopt him?

With our without him through adoption, he is our life.

Our family.

Our love.

I could no longer be arrogant that the only other Ethiopian child I could love

would have to be that boy.

So yes, dear reader, our next adoption will lead us here:

to this flag,

to this place



but if nothing else, it will lead our children: HOME.

And home is always a place you can go.

How Do You Choose?

We have an agency.

We are home study ready.

Our finger print application can be sent off ASAP.

Only a few minor tweaks need to be made to our paper work.

And then there is one glaring blank:

Country:______________

For about four weeks now, we've been asked to fill in that blank.

Our family vote has been  bottle necked.

Two votes Ethiopia.

One votes India.

Mommy's vote can tie it up or give direction.

The Angel and The Hero are set that it's Ethiopia.

The Dinosaur just likes screaming "I'm an Indian."

(I have no idea why this is fun. But he loves saying it.)

So at dinner each night as we pray, we've been asking for direction.

We've received nothing but silence.

To be honest, I'm not sure He cares.

Don't get me wrong.

I know He has a plan and that He has chosen a very specific person(s) to join our clan.

But we know what the Word says.

The mandate is out there for us to receive.

And now that our eyes have been opened we know what to do.

But like all things, we have a choice.

Geography is up to us.

He is leading our every step, He's waiting on us to choose to fill in the blank.

It Happened

Everyone said it would happen.

I knew it would eventually.

Even though I fought it.

Pushed it down inside.

Prayed it would last forever.

But it didn't.

I believed I would see it in snipets.

Snapshots over a series of days, strung out to months.

But it happened with one shot.

I stepped back to capture her.

Just like always.

The flash sizzled and I checked the view finder.

And I teared up.

She wasn't there.

The little girl that I once knew.

She had been replaced.

With the most amazing young lady.

It's been three summers now.

I never understood why my mother continues to call me her baby.

34 years after delivering me.

I do now.

And it brings me to tears.

I don't regret the time I didn't have her.

It's five years of her life, I'll never know.

I regret not diligently watching every moment,

to know exactly when she stopped being little.

And started being a lady. 

Lorax Birthday

The Angel turned 8 last week.

OMG!

Really.

Has it been three of her birthdays home already?

I'm already missing her accent and being a little girl.

She's almost grown.

Don't believe me?

We now wear the same size shoe.

Drop to your knees and pray for me now ya'll.

She wanted a Lorax themed birthday party.

So we added a few truffala trees for a photo booth.

And took everyone's picture with the birthday girl as they entered our home.

Got her an amazing birthday cake.

And Daddy used his artistic skills to draw a few signs.

And The Dinosaur...

Well, he donned a mustache and then headed to the pool.

While The Hero goofed with his favorite girl.

And Mommy and Daddy tried not to cry.

That their baby is growing up.

The Thing About A Garden

The thing about having a garden is that it is a lot like having another child.

The waiting.

Trying to remember patience.

Dreaming of the future.

Being diligent about weed removal.

Hoping for the maximum amount of growth.

Studying diseases and organic home remedies.

And while all of that sounds like a lot of work.

Trust me, most days it is just work.

Watching each individual plant mature and produce,

is such an amazing joy.

We are learning more about how God developed our world.

And yet, we are also learning about how He develops our hearts.

No wonder there is so much scripture about seeds and harvests.

The Angel calls this the world's smallest jalapeno plant.

But if you look close, you can tell there are at least two,

 just waiting to mature.

A Life First

About a month ago, I told The Hero that running wasn't that much fun anymore.

Hitting my treadmill three to four times a week just wasn't cutting it.

He suggested maybe we up the ante just a bit.

I agreed.

I don't play poker, so I really had no idea what he was talking about.

He suckered a few friends into joining us and we headed off early on a Saturday morning.

To a field.

To run.

A 5k.

While being covered in mud.

Huh?

Yeah. That's what I said.

We ran our first mud run.

This was what we looked like at 9:00a.m.

This was us just 45 minutes later.

We laughed and laughed and had the best Saturday morning

I've had in a long time.

Running just got a little more fun,

and compared to doing it in the mud,

it also became a lot easier.

This Just Needs to Be Said

I can always tell when we are starting, praying about or in the middle of an adoption.

I know because of the paper work that lies about,

the emails that clutter my inbox,

and the anticipation that seems to linger in the air.

But more tangibly, I know because the whole world seems to go awry.

The axis of the earth seems to tilt,

the Super Moon graces us a bit longer

and our house starts to come alive.

Not like the house in Ammityville,

but alive with activity

and none of it is the good kind either.

On our date night last week, The Hero and I discussed our second adoption.

We made some very direct goals and hard decisions.

Almost immediately, our house responded.

The vacuum cleaner sparked and died on Friday.

Behavioral issues abounded with our children.

The washing machine keeled over Saturday morning.

And Monday we awoke to the air conditioning units refusing to pump cold air.

The repairman told us both units would have to be replaced.

(For those of you who have not replaced one it quite some time,

it's about the same cost as an international adoption).

The Hero met me at the door on Monday, smiling.

I found nothing to smile about.

But as we sat at the dining room table,

we started talking about our last date night.

And I started laughing.

Our house was under attack.

Literally.

Spiritually.

While The Hero called our insurance,

I called our adoption agency.

And sent them some money.

And just for good measure,

I made some small financial gifts to some of our favorite places.

And prayed over our house.

It's Thursday morning.

The Hero called me from his car.

The a/c repairman just left.

Units are fixed and pumping.

And it's covered by our insurance.

His only words "give thanks baby. This was all HIM today."

The Hero found a part for the washing machine.

And fixed it for less than $30.

Behaviors have been identified and specifically prayed over.

The only total loss was the vacuum cleaner.

But considering it was almost 12years old,

it didn't seem like too big a loss.

Whatever is keeping you from adoption, remember:

THE DEVIL HATES IT

AND WILL TRY ANYTHING TO STOP IT.

Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rules, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."