Feb 17, 2012

Today It Sucks

"Hang in there."
"Adoption is not for the faint of heart."
"Adoption is not for sissies."

These are just of the few of the things the adoption community says to one another at varying time during the process to boost our morale and keep us going. But one lesser known statement rings in our house on occasion: Adoption Sucks. The entire premise behind adoption is loss, devastation, separation. Then add attachment, loss of culture/family, with a dose of sweat and a lot of tears and adoption doesn't sound so grand. Not to mention the paperwork, expenses and uncertainty. Months and years of waiting, praying and paper chasing. And some times there are set backs, delays and in the most difficult of situations, some times there are doors that are completely shut.

One of the songs I listened to often during our adoption with The Angel and The Dinosaur was "Closer To Love" by Mat Kearney. One of the lines says "We're all one phone call from our knees." Today, we received a call that brought us to such a posture.

Our angel in Thailand has received a family. But it isn't us. After seven years in an orphanage, our Thai beauty is being pursued through adoption by a Thai family. It is the most strange state of emotions for us right now. We knew the difficulties and time delays that were discussed with us as we pursued this adoption. Not only because of the country but because of the medical conditions of the child we were pursuing. Over the last few months, our time line grew from 12-24 months to 24-36 months. We are elated knowing that another child will be moved out of an orphanage and into a FAMILY almost immediately instead of waiting on us for another 2-3 years. Knowing that there will be no loss of culture is so great and we are thankful.
But there were definitely tears. And there are sure to be a few more in the next few weeks. The Angel is taking it especially hard. Her super soft heart is broken that name and face we've been praying over every night at bed time won't be sitting with us at the dinner table.

So here we are. Not in Thailand. We know that adoption is hard and for all the joy it has brought to our family, today it sucks.


"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

I am sooo sorry....and really those words don't even begin to cover it! There really aren't any words- ever that can cover the loss!!!

Having gone down that road before.....I remember the dark, hard, physically sick days.....of loss. A true loss. Yeah, happy for him- yes, but a LOSS nonetheless.

I am praying for you!!! Please let me know if you just want to chat or anything. From a mommy who has seen hurt from this angle. PRAYING HARD!!!!!!! For your whole family!!!!!

Sometimes adoption does SUCK!!! And that is just a polite word.

Unknown said...

So sorry Lindsey! I didn't know you were trying to adopt again. I will be praying for God to show you His new child for you.

Paula said...

I'm sorry. That would certainly be a tough situation to endure. I hope that God puts another child with your family soon, although you will always grieve the loss of this one.