After my last post, I'm sure that you would be wanting some thing upbeat, some assurance that the Andrews' clan was moving on and moving up. We are close. Better. Day by day.
The Angel cried most of the weekend. I let her work through most of the emotions without much interference. But by Monday afternoon, it was time. She and I had a talk about how adoption is unpredictable and some times things change, even unexpectedly. We talked about how this meant that God's choice for our family wasn't in Thailand and that we just needed to keep looking. This is how that conversation went:
The Angel: " So we are still going to adopt more kids?"
Mommy: "Of course. If God wants us to have more kids, then we are going to find them."
The Angel: "No matter where they are?"
Mommy: "No matter where they are."
Monday night as we said night time prayers, The Angel asked to pray. It went like this: "Dear God. I ask that "R" have fun with her new family and we bring all the kids you would have for us to our house soon. Thanks God."
After I tucked them into bed and headed down stairs, I wondered if we had heard God wrong in this adoption process. Had we been looking in the wrong direction? Did we miss the signs? Should we have been looking some where else?
I wrestled with this for most of the night. But I cracked open my Bible and read again. I don't believe that James 1:27 is a suggestion. I believe that pure religion is to look after orphans and widows in their distress. I believe that God has a plan for my family; the children that are here with us now and those that are yet to come. I believe that Jesus conquers all and that He makes no accidents, mistakes, or unplanned pregnancies. I know there are more children meant for our family and they will be placed with us in HIS timing. I believe that we were never supposed to adopt "R", but that Jesus put her own our path maybe for nothing more to insure that "R" was covered in prayer, even for a short time.
I don't believe that we heard God wrong. But I am learning that I'd rather hear Him wrong than not at all.