Tired....And Oh So Cranky

Laundry. Cleaning. Cooking. Praying. Fasting. Packing lunches. Mowing the Yard. Home Repair. Fence Repair. Working 8-6 at my real job. Church. Checking my phone every second for a referral. Stressing. Repeat.

This has been my life non-stop for the past five weeks. Le being a never present fixture at home, coupled with doing EVERYTHING myself and the stress of the adoption, work, home and a project that God has been laying on my heart for the past few months has come to equal total exhaustion. I am frustrated. I need Le to be at home. I need to know who my children are. I need to finish their rooms. I need God to answer my prayers about my project. I feel as though I am obedient, as though I have been doing all of the things that He has asked me to do, I just seem to be waiting on other people. And I hate to wait. I think that is what I am supposed to be learning from God right now.....Patience. Le will be home more, just one more week. I will finish their rooms and discover the identities of my children, I just don't know when. God will intercede and move those individuals who are key to my project, I just don't know when. And although all I want to do is sit in my office and cry about, whine and blame everyone else, the problem lies with me. God forgive my ignorance in believing that the God of the Universe should function on my schedule. I am sorry. I'm just exhausted and need rest in you...and I'm also really cranky, so please don't be offended if my prayers are a little rude or argumentative. I know I need to wait on YOU, not me.