May 29, 2012

I'm sure that you've passed a scene like this in your city.
Perhaps you even passed by one today.

A person holding a sign,
stating they have a need.

I am the one who is always digging for cash.

Or bottles of water if I have planned ahead.
Or the kids' snacks if I can find them.

But whether it's out of convenience or a lack of planning,
I always feel like I am just giving money.
Offering a "God bless you"
and sometimes with a smile.
If I can remember it.
But I always try to give something.

I just cannot ignore the thought of passing by some one
who may have a need and I perhaps have the ability to provide even a small part.
It aches my heart to see some one, especially in my home town,
who isn't being properly provided for.
Whether it be by their own choices or
my lack of civic involvement,
but I cannot just push through the light and drive on.

When The Hero and I first started dating,
he use to roll his eyes when I would dig through his wallet,
force him to change 3 lanes of traffic,
and he would tutor me on how giving money wasn't really going to change some one's situation.
He use to say that the result would only result in perpetuating a cycle,
support substance abuse,
or dissuade some one from getting a real job.

But honestly, even if everything he said was true, I can still resonate with this:

If my life had been relegated to
having no home,
having no one I felt I could turn to,
sleeping in alley ways,
wondering where my next meal would come from
or being disconnected from my thoughts

and forgetting that I am fearfully and wonderfully made
by a Creator who loves me more than anything else on earth,
I can understand that my choices may not always be the best.



The Hero has stopped hounding me about my stop light activities.
He now just hands me his wallet without ever being asked.
 I love that about him.

We gave a man a few dollars a few weeks back and
I told The Hero that I wanted a homeless friend.
He just stared blankly back at me.
I tried to explain that I didn't just want to pass by people on the street.
I wanted to engage them.
Enough to where I would know one of them by name.

He asked if any if any of the people we knew were homeless
would they still consider us friends.
I told him I didn't know.
But Jesus had several friends on this earth and he was still homeless.

I told him I just wanted to begin to put myself in situations where
I wasn't offering a piece of my wallet,
I was finally offering a piece of myself.
Maybe that's all Jesus really wants from any of us after all.
Offer yourself to some one else fully,
not to change their situation but to simply be their friend.



cal+claire said...

This is a conflict I always have with myself

MDionisio said...

I'm this person, too! Thank you for reminding me that there is always more we can do to help lost souls.