I've been reading through 2 Samuel in my reading plan. I have to admit, I've been getting kind of bored. Reading about King David having to endure trial after setback and each time running back to God, begging forgiveness and then returning to his old ways. It hit me why I've been skimming through these chapters~IT'S TOO PERSONAL. I see King David in every aspect of my behavior lately.
I thought that waiting for our referral would be the hard part. I tricked myself to believing that once I saw my children's faces, I could handle the rest! Ha! Watching my children grow up by picture has been one of the hardest trials of my life. I WANT a court date; I WANT my children to be home; I WANT to start our lives to together~does this sound like someone you know? King David. It's been about what I want and not about HIS timing for my life.
I believe that my life is defined by a series of songs that capture a period, a memory, a moment,producing a crazy fun soundtrack of music. I thought I had moved past this particular track, but as I drove home tonight, I cried out and sang ALL of the words and resolved, as King David to do better, until the next time I come running back to my Father. So while I'm waiting..."I'm waiting on you Lord, though it is painful...I will serve You while I'm waiting and I'll worship while I'm waiting." And part of my resolve is to trust that He has all of this planned out and I am just giving myself gray hair for no reason.