Jan 19, 2010

Kingly Stubborn and Back to Waiting

I've been reading through 2 Samuel in my reading plan. I have to admit, I've been getting kind of bored. Reading about King David having to endure trial after setback and each time running back to God, begging forgiveness and then returning to his old ways. It hit me why I've been skimming through these chapters~IT'S TOO PERSONAL. I see King David in every aspect of my behavior lately.
I thought that waiting for our referral would be the hard part. I tricked myself to believing that once I saw my children's faces, I could handle the rest! Ha! Watching my children grow up by picture has been one of the hardest trials of my life. I WANT a court date; I WANT my children to be home; I WANT to start our lives to together~does this sound like someone you know? King David. It's been about what I want and not about HIS timing for my life.
I believe that my life is defined by a series of songs that capture a period, a memory, a moment,producing a crazy fun soundtrack of music. I thought I had moved past this particular track, but as I drove home tonight, I cried out and sang ALL of the words and resolved, as King David to do better, until the next time I come running back to my Father. So while I'm waiting..."I'm waiting on you Lord, though it is painful...I will serve You while I'm waiting and I'll worship while I'm waiting." And part of my resolve is to trust that He has all of this planned out and I am just giving myself gray hair for no reason.




8 comments:

Beautiful Mess said...

Ooh! When I just "saw" the song that was to play I started crying. What a beautiful song..

Praying for you in the WAITING!

God bless!

Amy said...

Oh Linz...I FEEL you on this!! I am praying with you, for you and that God will birth beautiful things in your heart as you wait on HIM. It feels sometimes like the wait is killing us, but God has a purpose in the waiting. This song was awesome for me tonight. Thank you for sharing. I am praying that in His perfect timing He will answer you...look at what He did in December for you - the floodgates of heaven opened!! He's been faithful before...He'll be faithful again! Love you, sister!

Sarah Marden said...

What an amazing song! That was the song for Shannon and I after we got married while we were living in two different states. We were just waiting to find out what was going to have to happen before one of us could move to be with the other. We sang it on the way to the airport the last time I had to take him back, and the very next day, God provided us with the answer and I was living in Michigan a week to the day we sang that song and refocused ourselves. I'm praying for you guys, and the little ones. You grow more every day and are going to be even better parenst for it.

Rebecca said...

It is SO hard. I want a court date for you guys. Praying for you all.

emily said...

I still cry when I hear that song and Eyasu is running around here now. It is a sweet reminder of His provision. Hang in there, they will be home soon!!!

Mark and Heidi said...

Hang on, it's bound to come soon! Which house are your children in? I have a video that has a lot of footage of the children in house #4. If your 18 month old is there I will send it to you.

Jude said...

praying for you during this hard waiting time... :)

Brandi said...

Could you POSSIBLY know how much I adore you? I think not. I just caught up on your blog and I just LOVE LOVE LOVE you. LOVE your heart, LOVE you and Le together, i now LOVE your sweet family, I LOVE your passion for orphans...and I LOVED writing about you in my last chapter.

I love you!
Bran