When Le and I began this adoption process, I had no idea how it would change me. I just knew I wanted to be a mom. I knew God had directed us to Africa, but I didn't know that He was directing my heart to orphans, no matter where their location. I now know that God is calling me to use my skills, my life, my passion to be an advocate, but the kicker is, I have no idea HOW! I recently read The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns. Richard Stearns is the president of World Vision and his story rocked my world. God was preparing him for this job for three decades and Richard didn't even know it.
I had lunch with a dear friend last week whose opinion I adore. She told me that my desire to change the world for orphans may die down once my children were home because I would be more focused on them. Dear Lord, I pray this not be true! While I want to be an amazing mother, the things that have broken my heart, I pray continue to break my heart, until God calls me home. My prayer is simply that I am obedient. In whatever situation, decision or task that is laid out before me, I simply ask to be obedient. It may take God 30 years to unveil his plan for me, but I want to respond when called.
4 comments:
Linz!! I just love you! No way will your passion die down when your babies come home to you! If anything, they will help keep the reality of what so many children face alive for you. I know that Jesus hasn't stirred your heart and CALLED you in the way that He has for you to lose sight of the ones He loves so much! I was just talking to an ER pediatrician today who has never taken a job in a private practice because she wants to keep her hands on skills fresh so that she can go be a medical missionary when her children have left the house. Amazing how she is being faithful with the gifts she has been given so that God can use them in even deeper ways in the future. I see BIG things ahead for you and the gifts the Father has given you. I am so happy that God has brought you into my life. Your heart inspires me and I know it makes Jesus smile. Keep on, girl. He will always answer our prayer to have our hearts broken by the things that break His. Always. Just keep on praying it. Much, much love!
i love your blog too! i also wondered the same thing about this passion God ignited in my heart...in my experience, having nate home has only magnified my desire to make a dent in this worldwide crisis. having him is a visual reminder of his adoption and our adoption in Christ. i think it could be addictive, lol:) i've already talked to ben about adopting again...maybe a little girl a bit older. so, don't worry...as long as you keep following God's leading...you will know how He wants to use you. He will equip you each step of the way for what He requires of you. sometimes you may know you have been used (which is such a blessing), and He may use you in ways you never know. i'm glad we've met in blogland...can't wait to follow your journey as we work together to shed light on the "least of these" that God cares for so much:) have a great day!
I've been thinking about this post for a while. my fear is that when we FINALLY get to adopt, I'll still feel this guilt because I know there are so many orphans out there.
I need to keep praying more, this I know. I also know that being a mom pulls you in many directions but always back to the one's that make you the mom you are.
you'll find the balance, you'll see.
Oh girl. . .it certainly did not die down for me!!!! I'm with Amy. . you are CALLED to advocate for little ones. . .heck, that's what makes you a great lawyer! You are right that it may change as times goes on. .but you will forever be an advocate. I'd believe that your passion would die down if it was EXTREMELY connected to your kids, but it's not. You are passionate about OTHER countries and other kids across the world.
Man, I love your heart! I'm reading the same book, by the way and LOVING it!
Bran
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