"Office School" ?

I'm not sure where or who first used the term "home school" with The Angel, but about every six weeks, she asks me if and when she will every be home schooled. I always give her the same answer, "I have no idea" and "I hope never". 

To be frank, homeschooling has always intimated me and one of the things I always beg God not to call me to do. 

But He saw fit to give me a daughter to think that homeschooling is her personal garden of Eden. 

Because of our summer schedule, The Angel has been in church camp, day camps, etc. for the last five weeks. With our family vacation scheduled at the end of July, there was a three week lapse in what we had scheduled for The Angel. The Hero and I talked about what to do while we were at work and the answer seemed to return to her spending her days with us at our offices. 

So I told her we were giving her a reading list and buying a couple of work books to give her a boost before third grade and she'd be spending her days at the office with me, doing some school work and reading. 

I thought she would scream, protest or profess eternal boredom. 

Wrong.

She's upstairs as I type, packing a back pack, sharpening pencils and giving The Dinosaur the 411 as to what home schooling looks like when your mom works a full time job.

Lord, this is only 3 weeks. 

3 weeks. 

Please?!

Happy Father's Day

I'm not sure how other men handle years of infertility, struggling, begging God to have a baby.

I don't know how any other man deals with a crazy wife who dreams of adopting, not knowing where that road might lead.

Maybe there are better stories of heroism and bravery, but I haven't heard them.

I know that you held me when the sobs of despair had overtaken me.

I know that you breathed "yes" to adoption before it was every really an option for us.

I know that you followed Jesus day in and day out on our road to becoming a family.

I know we boarded a plane together as 2 and came back as a pack of 4.

I know that from the moment he met you, you were his "person" and he's been attached to you ever sense. 

I know that she sees strength and power in you and she relies on you for that. 

I know that you are teaching her how to be purely loved so that YOU are the standard she judges all other men by.

I don't know how other men handle tough situations in their lives, but I know how you handle yours.

And I couldn't be more honored to have my life validated by having you in it. 

Happy Father's Day to the most pure hearted, amazing Hero I know. 

Old & New Again Friends

I've been blogging for almost 4 years now. 

The kids have been home for over 3. 

Out of all the people in the adoption community we've "met" online and in person, there are still those couples who we think "would love to meet them. Would love to see our kids play togther.", etc.

One of those families is the Briggs family from Colorado Springs.

Through our adoption journey we learned we had a lot in common.

Early 30s. 

No biological children at the time of our first adoption.

And adopted two children at the same time, of almost exactly similar ages.

Our kids were even born in the same region of Ethiopia and

were together at their foster care in Ethiopia for a time.

So imagine our excitement when Juli emailed me and said they would be driving through Oklahoma on vacation and wanted to know if we could meet up for lunch.

We were thrilled.

The Angel has been asking for a sister for years and having her former buddy back for even a short while did nothing to diminish her desire.

What a beautiful short time with old friends who were made new again today.

There and Back Again...by The Andrews Clan

If you know me at all, you know that The Lord of The Rings trilogy speaks my religion. I think there is more fervor about Christ in those three books than in most churches on a given Sunday. I think Tolkien had a solid grasp on the pulse of Jesus. I love them both for that.

Five years ago, The Hero and I stood amongst a sludge of adoption paperwork: local and international, foster care and respite care, red tape and bureaucracy. After several phone calls to our local Human Services department, I threw away their information. It sounded so overwhelming and they seemed to only push us towards fostering. After enduring infertility treatments, I knew my heart was not ready to love through another type of loss.

As you all know, The Angel and The Dinosaur joined us by way of international adoption in 2010. After several failed attempts at a Thai adoption and false starting on several domestic adoptions, we were back to square 457. For the second time. God just kept breathing the word "home" into my heart. I felt it over and over again. I was sure that when I wrote this post, that home was leading us back to Ethiopia. I called our home study agency and even advised them to revamp our home study in order to make it approved for Ethiopia. Two days later, we were changing course. Again.

I had never heard of a group home five years ago. I didn't know they existed. But "group home" is just fancy terms for a kid who needs a family. And I kept repeating only one word: Home. Our social worker's sweet clear voice asked only a few things that I could piece together on the phone that day.

"12yr old."

 "group home, 7 years."

"group Home."

 "Are you even interested?"

"not foster care...forever placement."

"group HOME."

I remember telling her I'd talk to The Hero. I promised I'd pray about it. But deep in my heart, I already knew the answer: Of course we were interested. Our family's goal isn't Ethiopia, or fostering, or even really adoption. Our goal is to be who and what and where HE is asking us to be. To whomever He is asking us to be that to.

The Hero never blinked when I printed off the packet of information. He nodded and we prayed and we confronted our kids about an older brother. They were elated. And so here we are. Several visits into our integration process and the newest member of our family who will be living here primarily in the next few weeks.

We do believe our road will lead us to Ethiopia again for adoption. The Angel is certain of it.  She also consistently reminds me now that we girls are out numbered. But to see the face of what is to be our newest son and say no was not something any of us could do.

I'm sorry that I kept the secret from you all so long. There is still much we are not allowed to say.  Adoption is never beautiful all the way around. There is loss and grief and pain. Transition and belonging and acceptance. But never in my life do I see Christ loving me more fully than when we accept a child into our family just as they are. Isn't that what He did for us? Accept us in the broken pieces to go there with us through the ugly and the dark, only to turn around and do it all again the next day? It's why I love Jesus. As He love me in all my failures to be there and then be back again each morning, again and anew. There and back again. There and back yet again. Day after day.

Please join us in prayer. There are so many unknowns yet for our little family. Payments for costs we have not yet seen, hurts we have not yet encountered, legal hurdles to be moved and we will need your love and support every step of the way.

So that's what we can tell you. We haven't fallen off the earth the last two month. We've just been going down the road to home. And now back again.

Going Home

When I was a teenager, preparing to leave my parents home for college,
my dad  had a joke for me.
He use to say "you know Sis. They say you can never go home again."
I'd laugh.
And wonder if he was serious.
As the oldest of three, maybe they were ready for me to leave.
To be gone, to never return.
If I really could never load up my car and spend summers on their couch,
raiding their refrigerator and forgetting that there was life outside
the cocoon they had lovingly created.

 I'm sure they took it hard when I left down that long, winding road for college.
21 miles due north.
Despite the distance, I saw them at least once a week.
And talked to them at least four times.
Sometimes all in one day.
It took a solid 20 minutes from my dorm room parking lot
to their gravel drive way.

The summer between college and law school I moved home.
My dad changed his joke.
"Sis, they say you can't go home again."
"But I have no idea who 'they' are, so feel free to come home whenever you want."

I never did move home after that summer.
I think a part of me regrets it to this day.
I mean, who doesn't love your mom making breakfast and doing your laundry?
(I wonder if she'll move back in. :)

Law school meant studying and studying meant late nights at the library.
I kept an apartment on the west side of campus,
north in the City,
almost 40 miles from my parents' front porch.
Then The Hero appeared and well, I had a new home.
Wherever he laid his head was my address.

But I never forgot Dad's reminder.
That if I ever needed a place to rest, to relax, to be who I am,
that the front door is always open.
It's one of the first things I want my children to know about The Hero and I:
The front door is always open.
You can always go home.


When I left you lovely blog readers last, we had a dilemma in our adoption planning.

One blank to fill, so that there would be less blanks in our family pictures.

I fought it.

Hard.

With prayer and Italian heritage stubbornness,
I knew there was no way God was calling us back home.
The Hero and The Angel were adamant I was wrong.
The Dinosaur was unpersuasive.
Could we return to the land I loved again?
Wouldn't God place us some where else?
Why could this country, these people, that boy, those memories, why couldn't they be still.

Why couldn't they let me be still?
Why was I always called back there?

And then one day, it hit me.

Dad's words from so long ago.

Because this place, that boy, those memories, they were one thing to me:
HOME.

That continent that hangs on my neck,
that stirs in my heart.

That landscape where our ministry, our business, our family rooted and grew.

The treasures we'd already received from being there once before.

(Yes. The Dino is in a dress. The Hero continues to lament my failures

 to parent while he's at the fire station.)

The culture we've come to accept as part of our own.

Those faces LoPa Art fell in love with and advocate for through Children's HopeChest

(You can STILL sponsor a child at Hands For the Needy, but you better hurry only 20 of our 210 kiddos remain.)

That place with the hurt and the anguish.

And then there's that boy.

Would we ever be able to adopt him?

With our without him through adoption, he is our life.

Our family.

Our love.

I could no longer be arrogant that the only other Ethiopian child I could love

would have to be that boy.

So yes, dear reader, our next adoption will lead us here:

to this flag,

to this place



but if nothing else, it will lead our children: HOME.

And home is always a place you can go.

It Happened

Everyone said it would happen.

I knew it would eventually.

Even though I fought it.

Pushed it down inside.

Prayed it would last forever.

But it didn't.

I believed I would see it in snipets.

Snapshots over a series of days, strung out to months.

But it happened with one shot.

I stepped back to capture her.

Just like always.

The flash sizzled and I checked the view finder.

And I teared up.

She wasn't there.

The little girl that I once knew.

She had been replaced.

With the most amazing young lady.

It's been three summers now.

I never understood why my mother continues to call me her baby.

34 years after delivering me.

I do now.

And it brings me to tears.

I don't regret the time I didn't have her.

It's five years of her life, I'll never know.

I regret not diligently watching every moment,

to know exactly when she stopped being little.

And started being a lady. 

Lorax Birthday

The Angel turned 8 last week.

OMG!

Really.

Has it been three of her birthdays home already?

I'm already missing her accent and being a little girl.

She's almost grown.

Don't believe me?

We now wear the same size shoe.

Drop to your knees and pray for me now ya'll.

She wanted a Lorax themed birthday party.

So we added a few truffala trees for a photo booth.

And took everyone's picture with the birthday girl as they entered our home.

Got her an amazing birthday cake.

And Daddy used his artistic skills to draw a few signs.

And The Dinosaur...

Well, he donned a mustache and then headed to the pool.

While The Hero goofed with his favorite girl.

And Mommy and Daddy tried not to cry.

That their baby is growing up.

How do you tell a Dinosaur "Happy Birthday"?

How do you tell a Dinosaur "Happy Birthday"?

Two years of us together and I'm still not sure.

It's official now.

You've been with us as long as you were away from us.

That's milestones in the adoption world.

And yet, it seems as though I've known you my whole life.

Maybe you've always been there,

the wild spirit in my heart I could never really explain.

You roar when a whisper is necessary and you stomp when walking would get the job done.

There is nothing that scares you, except the neighborhood cat.

And in the middle of creating your own wake, you some times stop just

to tell me you love me.

I knew the first time we met in Ethiopia, that you were going to blaze through life.

I knew it was going to be hard, then beautiful, then hard again,

but in the end, I was going to give you everything you asked for in life and more.

You only had to say one word: Mommy.

So son, you blaze right through this world and burn your own path with your Dinosaur roar.

I will try to remember my patience and I'll bring along my good belly laughs,

because we're going to need them both.

I have no idea why God thought I was good enough to be your mommy.

There are so many days that I doubt Him.

But I love you with a passion that cannot die and a commitment that will never end.

I'm already your biggest fan and you've only just begun.

Four years old sounds so small, until I look at how tall you've already grown.

How do you say "Happy Birthday" to a Dinosaur?

You hold him if you can catch him.

You kiss his face if he'll let you.

And you cherish every moment.

Because one day, that Dino will be full grown.

And it's happening, right this minute.

Happy #4 Baby Boy.

 

Small Group Isn't So Small Any More

When The Hero and I decided to adopt almost three years ago,

we prayed for a lot of things.

Direction, guidance, finances, patience were all at the top of our list.

But we knew that in addition we would need an army to stand behind us.

People who would lift us up in prayer and in spirit.

We didn't know anyone who was adopting or had ever adopted

and we begged heaven to send us people to walk this journey with us.

Like He usually does, God gave us more than what we expected.

We didn't know it at the time, but God had formed a small group from our church

that began meeting at our house once a week to decide how to do life;

and how to do it together.

Several months into our meetings, we learned that two other couples

were praying about their roads to becoming families.

Of the four families, only one had kids at the time.

This picture was taken last month at our house.

Every kid in this picture is adopted.

I love watching God work.

We know have to meet at church for small group and hire a babysitter to watch

the EIGHT kids between our five families.

Small group isn't so small any more.

I was going through old pictures a few days ago,

getting ready to put together a collage for The Angel and The Dinosaur.

It's their second Christmas with us.

WHOA!

I never believed time gets spent this fast.

As we were looking at birthdays and holidays

and pics of funny faces,

this one appeared,

out of place in my digital file of pictures.
It is from a Christmas past.

Three to be exact.

This face wasn't yet my daughter.

She was still an orphan.

And she was watching a friend leave for her new home.

With her new family.

The Angel looked at the picture.

She smiled and just said

"I remember that day."

"That was the day my last friend left Africa."

Tonight as I tuck my daughter into bed,

there are millions just like her all over the world.

Maybe some even in our neighborhood,

who are standing at the gate,

watching,

waiting,

praying

for their turn.

Their chance to have a home.

What are we going to do about it?

Christmas Carols

I love Christmas music.

It starts playing Thanksgiving Day and I am the annoying person who leaves it on until sometime

after the New Year.

The kids and I sing them every morning on the way to school.

But this year,

I can't sing this one without choking up.

Can you?

Our precious Thai bab(ies) we are missing you this Christmas.

But The Maker of stars is guiding our paths together.

And we are headed straight to you.

So that He will receive all the glory.

Last Christmas

For the last couple of years, I've kept a list of awesome gift ideas that give back.

I tried really hard to coordinate another list this year.

But I can't.

It's not really a time constraint, but more of like a heart constraint.

Between The Hero and I, I think we've bought five gifts this year.

We've bought the kids a couple of things, but they don't really care about toys.

And clothes are really boring.

As I think about our kid(dos) across the globe in Thailand,

I doubt he/she/they are thinking about toys, or snow (i know they aren't thinking that)

or how many different candies they will eat on Christmas.

I'm sure that my child(ren) are thinking about whether this year will be the year

they will get a family, a safe place to call their own.

And it devastates me that for Christmas 2011, they won't.

Our home study isn't completed.

Our dossier isn't yet submitted.

Our referral hasn't been given.

And so we wait.

For another Christmas.

Another shopping season that no one will remember next year,

let alone next month.

I saw a woman post today on facebook about this girl.
Her name is Shannon.

Shannon is 13.

She'll be 14 in two months.

She is a waiting child from China.

And Shannon has a Christmas wish:

A family.

You see, this is Shannon's last chance.

Her last Christmas wish for her heart's desire.

Someone to call her their own.

In China, once she turns 14, she will never have the opportunity to be adopted.
Her two best friends were adopted not long ago and living in America.

Shannon begs for them to find her a home.

And she only has two more months.

So while we are all making our lists and checking the Internet for great deals,

Shannon is on her knees, begging that her Mommy and Daddy come soon.

Tonight, I'm on my knees for Shannon too.

My shopping list would be to find her a family.

It's her last Christmas.

Please repost this and share her story.

If you know anyone who is home study ready and even better if their LOA is logged into China,

please direct them to Kelly at chosenchild@gmail.com

My friend Lindsay posted an amazing post with links to

gifts that give back and you can check that out here.

Christmas is Two Days Early This Year

On November 29th, 2009, my sister and her husband relocated to Phoenix

for a new adventure in their life.

On November 30th, 2009,

The Hero and I began a new adventure of our own:

Parenthood.

Laura had barely pulled in her new driveway when I called

to tell her about our referral.

It was the oddest moment of elation and devastation of my life.

While I couldn't wait to get the kids, Laura and I both wondered

how my kids would ever bond with someone who lived a 1000 miles away.

The next time I saw her, I was getting off the airplane in OKC

with two kids.

Jetlag, exhaustion, and acclimating to our life at home

would have been unbearable if she and Brian hadn't been there our first week.

They did the laundry, the grocery shopping, the rocking for nap-time,

while I tried to pull my head out of the whirlwind of the last two weeks.

Coming face to face with motherhood and abject poverty for the first time

took a toll on my heart and my brain.

At the end of that first week, The Angel knew she had a mother.

And an aunt.

Whom she adored.

Aunt LaLa was all she wanted for her first birthday home.

Our first Christmas was amazing.
There were lots of smiles.

LOTS of laughs.
(I think he looks like the seamstress from The Incredibles :)

Too many gifts that neither of the kids remember a year later.
And while every one was amazing and made their first Christmas perfect,
it was definitely noted that there were two presents missing.
We skyped the entire Christmas morning, letting LaLa and Papa Chu
watch each gift being opened,
each toy being played with and
watching The Dinosaur terrorize us all with his dump truck.
At the end of the day, Laura sent me a message,
telling me that 2010 would be last Christmas my kids were small
that she wouldn't be sitting in my living room.
I told her I was going to hold her to that,
but wouldn't tell the kids.
So as we made our lists this year for what they wanted to unwrap,
The Angel again requested her favorite thing:
LaLa.
and maybe, just maybe if he was good,
she'd let Papa Chu come along.


So for Christmas 2011,
THEY ARE COMING HOME!!!!
I waited for as long as I could to tell the kids.
About two minutes after I knew.

So while they won't care about presents.
And some fat man squeezing in our fireplace doesn' t mean anything.
Santa and his entire magical entourage could carry
Laura and Brian's bags from the airport,
and The Angel and The Dinosaur wouldn't notice.
Because:
There will be popcorn,
dancing,
cheering,
celebrating,
and probably costumes

there will be giggles,
laughter,
playing ball in the house
and breaking all of Mommy's rules.

There will be late nights,
pillow fights,
sleeping in late
and cereal for dinner.

The Angel is beside herself.
She is so excited that she has turned her
paper-chain, Advent calendar from school into a
"Countdown to Aunt Laura coming".
But I haven't told her they will be here on the 23rd.
I want to see the look on her face:

Christmas comes two days early this year.

You Think She Wants A Sibling?

Last Wednesday was our home study.

We had been talking about it with The Angel and The Dinosaur for weeks.

Because those of you who have adopted before know that

once a social worker steps foot in your house,

your children know one thing:

You cannot kill them.

We seriously could entertain the entire House and Senate at our dinner table

and The Angel and The Dinosaur would behave normally.

But the level of heathen behavior at the Andrews' household is

paramount when we have a post-placement visit.

We encouraged The Angel and The Dinosaur to mind their manners,

don't scream at one another and generally attempt to act as if we

are trying to teach them to be upright, outstanding citizens.

(Our last two post placement visits,

The Hero and I were convinced The Dinosaur might sprout horns and

The Angel had a megaphone inserted into her lungs.)

Sure enough, the door bell rings on Wednesday and the kids fling the door open.

Completely forgetting "Stranger Danger."

But things started to go badly when The Dinosaur brought down his piggy bank.

Remember, it wasn't two months ago he swallowed copper?

He dumped his entire savings on the floor, and began swimming through them.

And immediately became bored.

As The Dinosaur did cartwheels off our furniture,

The Angel quietly sat on the floor between our social worker

and The Hero and I.

And only interrupted to ask me to take a picture of her new creation.

She's good.

Real good.

And she's ready for a sibling.

Date Set.

We got a call a few days before Thanksgiving from our home study agency.

We have a home study date.

November 30th.

Two days from now.

WOOT!

One more step down

one step closer to Thailand.

We are ready!

I also love that it is the exact same day as our referral-aversary

for The Angel and The Dinosaur.

National Adoption Month: Meet Ilyssa

Such a cutie pie!

Meet Ilyssa.

An adorable Ukranian princess who has HIV.

A manageable, controllable condition,

which if maintained through medication and love,

will mean that she grows up just like everyone else.

Ilyssa is being advocated for by Reeces Rainbow and

you can find her profile here.

Who wouldn't be blessed to see those pigtails bounding around their house every day.

National Adoption Month: More Siblings

It seems my heart is stuck on siblings for this post again.

I couldn't help it though.
This is Alex and Vitally.

Look at how precious these brothers are:

These little Ukrainian angels are being advocated for by Eli Project and

you can check out their profile here.
One of these babies is HIV+.

It doesn't matter which one.

Because HIV is a controllable, manageable condition.

And these boys are too precious to spend their lives

worrying about their condition.

They need to be worried about their next soccer game

or monster truck race.

National Adoption Month: Sibling Set

It's not a secret that The Hero and I have a soft spot for siblings.

I can't imagine having The Dinosaur without having The Angel.

I know my own life would not be the same without my siblings.

Sometimes in adoption, staying together is not an option.

But imagine your chances if there were 7 of you!

Even staring at their picture makes me overwhelmed.

Imagine the laundry.

Imagine the meal planning.

Imagine the LOVE!

The laughter!

The smiles at knowing they were all staying together.

This amazing group is currently in foster care awaiting their forever family.

They want to be adopted together.

Do you blame them?

I wouldn't give up my sister either.

National Adoption Month: Meet Destini

This cupcake had me had first sight.

Meet Destini.

This 10 year old princess is currently in U.S. foster care in Washington state.

Just waiting for her new family to shower her like the diva she is.

Total preciousness!

She is being advocated for by WACAP, which is the adoption agency

we have signed for in order to take us to our new family member in Thailand.

Remember to pray for the kids you've seen here

and advocate for them by using your facebook, twitter and blogs.