Dear Bully

Dear Bully,

I know that you didn't intend the harm that you did today at recess. I am sure that it was derived out of ignorance and your inability to yet put yourself in someone else's shoes. If you knew how much my child had already endured in their short time on earth, I know that you would not have said the things you said. Surely, you fail to realize that I held this child, hugging me tightly until they were so tired of crying that they were exhausted and needed sleep more than their mama's hugs. See, my children's story is hard. Real. Hard. More difficult than most issues a lot of people face in their entire lives. My children live their story every day. Staring into faces that do not reflect their own. Having a snapshot of our family that only entices more questions. I know you don't understand that it must be hard; to you it is only different. But different is SO. Very. Good. 

My daughter can make someone laugh to the point of choking; her spirit of fun lights every room she enters. My son. Wow. Talk about the life of the party. He is the most energizing hours I've ever spent. You only see them in a school setting and you miss out on all the beautiful that they bring to my life. 

Which is why tonight was so difficult. Gut-wrenching as I watched my child recount their day to me and then you came up. You, as someone we've never had in our home, never had the opportunity to know. You were a very big topic in our house tonight. And for the first several hours after: I wanted to punch you in the mouth. I know that I am an adult and you, but a child, but the mama bear in me came out. 

But then I started praying for you. Most fervently praying for you and your home life. I pray that you are as cherished and adored as the child that I comforted tonight. Sobbing, through their tears, they could not have told you how much they love to make people laugh, the hurt that they have undertaken in their lifetime or the pain that learning everything new in a new world and a new language might effect someone. You weren't there to see the pain and agony you caused by your lack of understanding and grace. 

I pray that your parents spent their blood, sweat, money and tears to bring you into this world only to tell you each and every day that you are one of the most amazing gifts that the world has ever been received. Because you see, adopted or not, our child, the one you reduced to tears tonight, the adopted daddy and I; we fought for these kids. Traveled miles and spent money that we didn't have for these kids and for you to diminish that in anyway; well tonight, I'm chalking it up to your age and your ignorance. And I'm praying that your parents fought that hard for you. So that one day you will know what a gift to this world that you really are and you will stop using words and actions to hurt others; ALL who are considered gifts to those who love them.

Love, 

A Very Heartbroken Mama 

Dear Trevor Knight

Trevor,

We don't know each other. We have little in common but for our Oklahoma addresses. You would know nothing about me and truthfully, though I'm a graduate of The University of Oklahoma and an avid football fan, until last night, I knew very little about you. I am the mother of a 5 year old son. He has been acclimated to football since his adoption four years ago. Living in the Bible belt, it was expected that we redefine their definition of "American football", as 'football' in Ethiopia is the American equivalent to soccer.  It didn't take long to make him a believer. My husband has worn black and gold as a Saints fanatic since childhood and I ate oysters at Acme once and fell in love with a city that never gives up. 

So between OU Saturdays and Saints Sundays, our kids have become overrun with football. While he still loves soccer, the five year old has been asking for the last two years to play on a team. The fan in me is ready to sign him up, but the Mom in me has countless reasons to say "not yet".  Safety concerns, his age and the aggressiveness of the overall sport will make me keep searching for flag football teams for several more years to come. 

But there is another aspect of the game with which I struggle. As with most high profile positions and situations in life, the bad seem to dominate the headlines and unfortunately are most of what my kids see. Players and actors making news primarily for their wrong choices and not the right ones. Last night Allstate honored players at half time for their activism off the football field and last night you were rewarded for all your hard work on the field. 

What struck me when it was all over and the mics were crammed in your face was not your stats, it was your humility, your grace. It was absolutely refreshing to watch. Completely reminded me of a mutual hero, Drew Brees. It made me want to hug your mama. 

And while my five year old tuckered out before halftime, you can be sure next season when Sooner Nation dones your jersey because of your on field actions, there's a 5yr old in OKC who will done one because of your off field moves. 

Hugs, 

A Future Football Mama