Oct 22, 2013

As a child, I was probably the easiest kid to discipline. Being a people pleaser and craving acceptance, I merely had to be told that someone was disappointed in me to be crushed. I would avoid getting in trouble at all costs and definitely never stayed there long. Whatever attitude or behavior modification was required, I was quick to figure it out. This mantra has repeated itself throughout my adult life. I still crave the need to be accepted and approved by those around me and even those I barely know.

As I talk to more and more women, this appears to be an indicator that points to our femininity. At work, at home, during our kids soccer practice, we are numbing our souls and our abilities to make new acquaintances or even go deeper with the people we already regularly see because we'd rather be accepted. We reduce our stories to ones about our kids, our work, our wardrobes; or worse, we don't tell a story at all, we mindlessly check out of every situation by clicking through our electronic device. 

Why do we try so hard to be acceptable, even at trivial or ridiculous things like nail color, hair color, fashion? Do we really care that our hearts are out of alignment and our families are craving for our attention and neither of those issues require opening the latest fashion magazine?
Why are we secretly yearning for community and connection, yet are able to settle for gossip and chatter? When we will we know that being risky and vulnerable is more fulfilling than being guarded and "safe"? What if we pressed into one another more strategically, instead of letting our main level of communication be facebook "likes" and re-pinning one another's dinner pins?


cal+claire said...

I desperately want community. Desperately! But it's so hard. You finally find that woman you think you can be yourself with and then you get shut down. It's hard to keep trying, you know? I wish everyone was committed to genuine, honest community.

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